When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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