She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
