I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
