I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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