Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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