I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
