Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
