I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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