No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
