I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
