so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
