ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize