i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
