Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
