Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
