Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
