you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
