Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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