I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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