Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
