I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
