I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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