i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
