Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize