I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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