This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
