walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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