Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
