at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
farters have to be the big spoon...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
