Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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