Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
