Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
