Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
