I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
