She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
