I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Life is so much better after having sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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