My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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