I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
