I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
