Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
