he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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