I just cut my nipple shaving
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
