so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
