Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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