Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
