kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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