I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What a dumb baby whore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My feet surprised me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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