Jerry, you need to find god
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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