To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
