So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
