Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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