Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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