i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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