3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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