how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
