Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
