Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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