I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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