What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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