Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
