Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
