dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
