He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
