She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
