thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize