Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
