they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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