just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
