she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
