Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My bed smells like the plague
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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