Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
