Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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