who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize