the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
