making cat noises will not fix the situation.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
