So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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