My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
