Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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